Comedy

The 20 Worst Church Sign Fails

posted July 11, 2012 by Neil Prospect

Church Sign Jesus Came

Whoa, whoa, Jesus, thank you, I'm flattered, but we're just friends. Let's keep it that way. I just don't want to lose what we've got, you know? We've got a good thing going.

1

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/cover.jpg

America is filled with churches. These churches all have signs to announce sermons, events, quotes, and generally try to attract people into their halls. Unfortunately for them, but fortunately for us, this frequently goes awry. As you can see above, sometimes a spiritual message just sounds like they're trying to get in your butthole.
2

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/coming.jpg

Jesus, buddy, that's not something you should be advertising.
3

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/mistakes.jpg

Once and for all, people, this is the definition of irony.
4

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/knees.jpg

Mama! No!
5

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/myspace.jpg

Yeaaaa, so, Jesus, I'm not sure how to break this to you.The whole Myspace thing didn't really work out. <hr/> Muhammad's on Facebook and Moses is ripping it up on Twitter. Buddha's on Tumblr reblogging cat pics all day.
6

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/swallow.jpg

Finally! A church that speaks to me!
7

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/jets.jpg

I wish he would! Have you seen the Jets the past 40 years? We could use all the help we could get.<hr/> Besides, we know this is an outright lie. The Jets have God's boyfriend Tim Tebow. If anything, he'd need to leave them for us.
8

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/facts.jpg

Apparently spelling doesn't either.
9

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/jesus-is-watching.jpg

Jesus is a pervert.
10

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/gods-favorite-word.jpg

Maybe that's why we always scream out his name when we do.
11

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/atheists.jpg

Oh no! I can feel myself disappearing! Clearly <i>atheism</i> has been defeated by your perfect logic, church sign.<hr/> Btw, in the future, if you want to attack a concept, you might want to spell it correctly. Just a thought.
12

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/coc.jpg

Worst. Party. Ever.
13

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/entering.jpg

I think Jesus may have missed the sexual harassment seminar.
14

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/he-came.jpg

Whoa, whoa, Jesus, thank you, I'm flattered, but we're just friends. Let's keep it that way. I just don't want to lose what we've got, you know? We've got a good thing going.
15

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/missionary.jpg

And if that fails try doggy. And if that fails try cowgirl. And if that fails ...
16

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/satin.jpg

I dunno, satin's pretty persuasive. It's just sooooooooo luxurious.
17

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/apes.jpg

Ha! Take that, evolution! I don't know why we don't let these people just dictate our country's science curriculum.
18

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/sexy.jpg

Seems legit.
19

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/that-ass.jpg

Ah, yes. This passage come from the Book of Mystikal wherein he urges you to watch yourself and shake it fast. All this to show Him what you're workin' with. Wise words.
20

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/yanks.jpg

If you've been praying against the Yankees this entire time, maybe you've been doing something wrong. I don't know if you've realized this, but it's not working.
21

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/loose-tongue.jpg

Well, if that's all it takes, please tell me how to make my tongue looser! Are there exercises I can do?
22

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/chuuch/20-worst1.jpg

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The 20 Worst Church Sign Fails

Tags: 20 Worst, Churches, Comedy, Fail