KENSINGTON REPORT: Dogs, Friend or Foe?

With the advent of Wikipedia and other thus far-undiscovered distractions, the human mind is shrinking. The anticipated result, according to the Kensington Report: canine intelligence will surpass human intelligence. Get a harrowing glimpse inside a harrowing future where Earth is renamed Grogan and humans are made to fetch in outer space. To thwart this seemingly-inevitable scenario the US Government has sent a pentagon official to the UK in an attempt to dig up any potential weapons, or bones.

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The Kensington Report

Because American news is for wankers.