Valentines Day

Men marrying cats, women marrying dolphins, people marrying game characters. Love is a strange thing and people will marry anything or anyone, even themselves.

Just got the annual Valentine’s Day card from mom! #ForeverAlone

Before saddling up for tonight’s binge drinking and bondage show, make sure you’re not headed for a snoozer of an evening.

Talking bacon and drunk cats on Valentine’s Day? Trust us, they’re far funnier than any Hallmark card you might buy.

Love is man’s highest emotion, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make fun of it.

Valentine’s day threesome?! TFM, bro!

Are you alone for the big day? Don’t worry, it’s for crooks, creeps, and cretins anyway!

What better way to show your sweetheart how much you love them than with a Nicolas Cage valentine? There’s no way that can backfire!

Will you make me the happiest contributing writer in the whole internet? Say yes to the epic FAIL that is the proposal.

’90s Superstars to the rescue

Teddy bears aren’t so cuddly when they’re trying to eat your face off.

Conan bids farewell to the half eaten Valentine’s day chocolates that nobody liked. Farewell, chocolate covered corn, you will not be missed.

We know there’s a few of you out there planning to pop the big question, have you considered letting Pizza Hut be a part of your special day? For $10,000 they’ll even throw in a free order of breadsticks and make you look like a regular ‘ol Casanova.

Never have we been so disappointed. This is like finding out the truth about Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy all over again.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you’ll scream in terror when Sweet Tooth’s got a hold of you. It’s a Twisted Metal valentine that’s sure to rip your heart out.