Proud To Be American

I can think of no other picture that perfectly sums up how awesome it is to be an American: trucks, bacon and bargains.

In the spirit of our Founding Fathers, all of whom appreciated a foxy lass in scanty clothing, today we present to you twenty ultra-patriotic women clad in nothing but the American…

Every week I pick five things that America did to me this week that I enjoyed. This week: Lara Croftdashian, a rocket car, and Sarah Palin’s boobs.

Every week, I choose five things that make living in the United States such a thing. This week: Captain America, Danica Patrick, lizard people from the core of the Earth and more.

Every week, I pick five things that make being an American own. This week: Heidi Montag, Lost, that chain-smoking toddler, Formula One in Texas and more.

Every week, I pick five things that make me love America. This week: Miss USA is a terrorist, Harrison Ford’s car dealership, Ghostbusters and more.

Every week I spotlight five things that make me love this America, land of Iron Man and the KFC Double Down. This week’s picks are all over the map – Haitian basketball fraud, Lady…

Every week, five reasons that we should be proud to be Americans. United States of Americans, that is. This week: Elvis’s colon, Justin Bieber’s brain, Miley Cyrus’s video and Repu…

Every week I point out five things that make America the greatest damn country on Earth. This week: Tecmo Bowl, the Olive Garden, and the entirely justified tasering of fat dudes.

Every week, I find five things that make me proud to live in these Great United States. This week, it’s golf, zombies, a fat Chinese kid, and more.

Every week I pick five things that make me proud to live in America. This week: Tiki Barber makes Tiger Woods look good, Rachel Maddow looks like a dude, Old Spice, and more.

Every week I pick five things that make me proud to live in America. This week: Wrestlemania, the end of Two And A Half Men, and more.

Every week, I pick five things that make me proud to be a citizen of the great American Satan. This week we’ve got a true underdog story, bad things happening to hot chicks and …

Every week. Five things. Why America is awesome. You get it. God, I could watch that over and over. Vanderbilt sucks like Duke sucks, just not as famously. Or infamously, I guess.

Every week I pick five things that make me proud to be an American. Here’s this week’s furious five.