Fail

Every week, I scour Netflix for a movie rated at one star and put it in my queue, suffering through it for your entertainment so that you don’t have to. In the past, I’ve taken…

So if you’ve logged into Facebook in the last few days, you probably saw the little message from founder Mark Zuckerberg saying that they’re making even more damn changes to the si…

Certain actions (some of them completely absurd and unfounded in anything resembling real human behavior) have become so overused in movies and television that they’ve actually tra…

Every week, I scour Netflix for a movie rated at one star and put it in my queue, suffering through it for your entertainment so that you don’t have to. In the past, I’ve taken…

Yes, it is Ninja Day on Heavy, thank you for asking. But despite their reputation for being the greatest ass-kickers the world has ever known, I regret to have to inform you that n…

Certain actions (some of them completely absurd and unfounded in anything resembling real human behavior) have become so overused in movies and television that they’ve actually tra…

Every week, I scour Netflix for a movie rated at one star and put it in my queue, suffering through it for your entertainment so that you don’t have to. In the past, I’ve taken…

There’s nothing that takes your mind off of a five-car pile up on the freeway like a good comedy. I guess that isn’t true if it’s a comedy about car accidents, but at least if it’s…

Certain actions (some of them completely absurd and unfounded in anything resembling real human behavior) have become so overused in movies and television that they’ve actually tra…

Okay, so if you’re a real gamer, you’ll understand immediately why this tattoo is bad. If you’re not, you’re going to have to look under the jump for the explanation, newb. So in t…

I want to write for Heavy.com – who wouldn’t? But I’m having a problem. I just have too many ideas! And they won’t pay me for all of them. So I decided to skip the middleman, not w…

Every week, I scour Netflix for a movie rated at one star and put it in my queue, suffering through it for your entertainment so that you don’t have to. In the past, I’ve taken…

I’m all too familiar with job interview etiquette – I blew more than a few gigs right out of college because I neglected to remove my ceremonial penis gourd, gifted to me by my for…

Sometime last week, T-Mobile customers using Sidekicks, a glamorous group including luminaries such as Paris Hilton, Perez Hilton, and Fred Durst’s dick, began to notice that their…

Oh my God. Here’s what you need to know about this clip: the guy being interviewed has had both of his testicles removed. The host is not drunk. Some of the most awkward TV ever ai…