Exercise Tips

One-fingered push-ups, anyone?

This machine gives you the same cardiovascular workout as having sex while reminding you that you are out of shape and completely alone. Perfect!

Hope you like a lot of crotch shots and uncomfortable thrusting and stretching with your daily workout.

Nothing whips you into shape faster than a personal trainer with tourettes who is legally insane.

Yoga is for everyone (not just middle-class soccer moms), even black people. Yep, that’s right, a special class for those of African American descent.

Grab your sweat band, find a spotter and don’t forget to stretch. We’ve got the 10 best workout fails ready to pump you up!