Heavy - Daily Suture

The SUTURE is After Your Brains!

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 11:49:14 EDT

Dead Head Fred stars in this all-video game viral video mash-up! Hit one player, and get ready to see ... * An a*s-whooping guest appearance from the viral video legend "Star Wars Kid" * Live Transformers! Autobots storm the local mall * Some sexy, sexy Wii action from a busty, miniskirt-wearing Heavy's Angel. Can't hate this player! * A misplayed video game soldier getting some well-earned retribution * Live-action human recreations of classic video games Space Invaders and Pac-Man * Live-action hamster recreation of classic video game Super Mario Brothers * And, of course, awesome action from Dead Head Fred

Kip Williamson Gets Big Air

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 17:58:49 EDT

Watch your favorite extreme sports heroes fly like eagles in the best of air moments from this year's ESPN X-Games event. Huge ramps get these skate boarders and BMXers high as a kite. Watch it now.

The Best of the Best

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 17:10:56 EDT

Watch all of the best moves from the most talented kids on the block. They catch bigger air, make bigger moves, and have bigger balls then most people we know ? check out all the highlights from this year's ESPN X-Games and feel the thunder.

Wipe Out

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 17:07:19 EDT

You gots to pay to play and at this year's ESPN X-Games the kids making all the moves also take their share of falls. Check out wipe outs that extend past the beach. BMX riders bite the dust, skate boarding gurus get up close and personal with the concrete and race car drives skip off the tracks and into the walls during these eye squinting moments.

Vertically Unchallenged

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 17:05:09 EDT

ESPN X-Games bring it strong again with a line-up of bad a*s bikers ruining the vert ramps with air that will make your momma think twice about buying you that new bike. These dudes get to work on the ramp stylin' and profilin' with huge air, crazy no handed twists and flips and more shredding signature moves then you can shake a stick at.

The DAILY SUTURE Gets Ramped Up

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 16:19:48 EDT

This here's a sick-tastic mash-up of excellent skateboarding action from the X Games. Seriously talented skateboarders hit the deck, conquer on some real ramps, and compete for X Games glory. Slyly spliced with vintage "how-to" stock instructional footage on old-skool skateboarding technique, these skaters show just how far we've come as a skateboarding society. Something to think about as you are getting ramped up for the upcoming X Games 13 on ESPN and ABC.

The DAILY SUTURE's Motocross Mayhem

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 16:16:58 EDT

Kip Williamson, from ESPN's X Games 13, checks in from Mesh Skatepark in Longwood, Florida, as Heavy News hits you with a sick mash-up of some of the most ridiculous motocross jumps, tricks and stunts to ever hit a dirt track. Get yourself completely psyched for the upcoming X Games 13 on ESPN and ABC. Riders and skaters, overcoming fear to land the new trick. Check it out.

The DAILY SUTURE Hits the Skids

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 16:09:12 EDT

Squealing over circular tracks of concrete, kicking up the dust along the empty plains, here is a crew of for-real drifters that leave skid marks everywhere they go! Even as they roll and lose control, these fearless cats control cars in ways you'd never dreamt possible. Get revved up for the upcoming X Games 13 on ESPN and ABC. Includes real dash cam footage.

Surf N' Derf

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 16:29:54 EDT

Look out you goofy-foots! The ocean's got nothing on this crew of serious surfers. Through the blue pipelines and crashing crests of gremmie-crushing waves, these cats have the ride of their lives on a daily basis, with only the occasional gulp of refreshing salt water.

Little Bike, Big Air

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:54:23 EDT

This extreme-sports themed edition of the DAILY SUTURE is your one stop source for the illest of completely ill BMX tricks from ESPN and the Summer X-Games. See them fly from ramps, grind rails, and skid in the sand. Feel the testicle-crushing crashes, get the spins from the sick twists and tricks, fear for the lives of young dare devil riders as they wheelie along the edge of tall rooftops. Bad a*s.

Bustin' Skateboards

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 16:27:05 EDT

This here's an ill-matic mash-up of excellent skateboarding action. Backlit by captivating sunsets, a deadly krew of talented skateboarders hit the deck, conquer on some real ramps, grind serious rail, and occasionally taste the delicious concrete. It's all in day's work.

DAILY SUTURE Plays it Straight

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 11:20:21 EDT

The DAILY SUTURE: Heavy's very own viral video mix tape! Clipping classic moments from the Internet's most outrageous viral videos, and splicing them together to hot hip-hop beats. It's a short strange trip, it's one-of-a-kind video Frankenstein, it's a totally ill viral video mash-up, it's reliable, undeniable and indescribable, it's the DAILY SUTURE!

Bigtime Brawls!

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 13:56:54 EDT

Fists of fury! Championship grudgematches! Hot female beach wrestling!

The SUTURE's a Party Animal

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 12:18:26 EDT

Plus French penguins, dunking parakeets, drunk squirrels, man-sized pigeons, dancing bears, and other crazy naked beasts. The SUTURE will clean up the poop.

A Face Full of SUTURE

Thu, 31 May 2007 11:55:18 EDT

Catch a face full of a*s, a speeding train, a foot-full of concrete, and a game of twister with a tornado. With musical guest Rap Cat.

Hands Off My Candy!

Wed, 30 May 2007 12:59:13 EDT

Acting shady, getting drunk at church, sitting around topless, shocking the cops and looking at some model's slip. An award-winning SUTURE.

Very Real, Extremely Dangerous

Tue, 29 May 2007 12:39:09 EDT

Kung Fu bears, fat-tire freakouts, twisted skate wrecks, random hotness, and a fat lady Tarzan. What choo know about math?

The Long Weekend SUTURE

Fri, 25 May 2007 11:38:47 EDT

Support your troops with dancing li'l people, car wrecks, subway strippers, fat topless guys, skanky Clintons and a flying school bus. USA!

The Hands-On SUTURE

Thu, 24 May 2007 11:50:58 EDT

Meet the Human Bowling Ball, Mattress Man, Toilet Boy, Sled-Head, the Tipping Stripper, Sgt. Rollbar and other SUTURE-heroes! To the Fish-mobile!

The Ducky-Style SUTURE

Wed, 23 May 2007 11:19:51 EDT

SUTURE brings you bad places for faces, including the playground concrete, the jaws of an alligator, the kitchen counter, the dirt bike ramp, Family Feud, and between your big-a*s ears!

Epic SUTURE

Tue, 22 May 2007 11:58:11 EDT

Epic SUTURE brings you hot bikini action, big spankings and gratuitous beaver shots. Plus, Freddy and Jason become Friends, and a ninja-turtle comes out of his shell.

Blowin' You a SUTURE

Fri, 18 May 2007 15:38:41 EDT

Setting a friendly fire, walking around bear-a*s naked, beating a box, cheering for the beavers and giving you a chubby. The SUTURE is a slam-dunk.

I'm In Love With a SUTURE

Wed, 16 May 2007 17:01:14 EDT

Fighters kissed, snack machines kicked, co-workers killed. Plus, new ways to catch trains, hang panties, and flip birds. The SUTURE is at your service.

L'il SUTURE

Tue, 15 May 2007 11:15:03 EDT

Kanye's beef, Bush's smackdown, a little person's big talk, and one turtle's reign of terror.

Leave It to SUTURE

Fri, 11 May 2007 11:22:57 EDT

Think you're rough? The SUTURE will crack your nuts, give you some huge wood, choke your Cosby, and send you down the hot dog highway. And you won't be Saved by the Bell.

Having a Rough Knight?

Thu, 10 May 2007 11:06:58 EDT

The SUTURE brings you Man vs. Tornado, Baby vs. Cobra, Monk vs. Cattle, Hasselhoff vs. Wendy's and other thrilling grudgematches.

SUTURE Gets a Flamejob

Wed, 09 May 2007 11:27:31 EDT

The SUTURE shows you smoking ears, breathing fire, balls coming out of your mouth, and other shocking side effects of AYDS.

Stairway to SUTURE

Tue, 08 May 2007 11:32:00 EDT

One kid's tripping, one kid's ripping, one kid takes it in the shorts. Put on your KISS make-up and rock and roll all nite with the SUTURE.

Top of the Morning

Mon, 07 May 2007 11:24:03 EDT

Hydraulics will be dropped, wheelchairs wrecked, boobs flexed, faces planted and a***s landed-on as the SUTURE transforms your work week.

SUTURE Gets in the Habit

Thu, 03 May 2007 16:54:25 EDT

Porta-army sics robot spider on Backstreet Boys. Plus, man gets spooned, children abuse, and wrestlers don't stick to the script.

Heavy Class of '07

Tue, 01 May 2007 18:21:57 EDT

Ron Jeremy is our man on the street, Ashy Larry is our cultural guide, and our political expert is literally a wiseass. Plus, convict body builders, minimum wage ninjas, potty-mouthed folk singers, and a lot more.

Mr. T Gets Tanked!

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 17:49:30 EDT

A reign of pain from cats and dogs, crotch rockets and rocket launchers, the MTA and Mr. T. SUTURE's not for the sheepish!

Suture-Twin Powers, Activate

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 17:31:26 EDT

Form of ... a midget mom! Shape of...a PC domino-chain! Plus, man gets bat, and Peanut Butter Boy will be there in a Jif.

Kiss the SUTURE

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 17:58:35 EDT

Prez gets bum rap, Hill-dog sings, and a pantsless political pundit talks sh*t. No more beating around the Bush: SUTURE For President! Find us some babes to kiss!

Love In An Elevator

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:19:50 EDT

Get a rise out of gassy girls, Jedi dogs, Baldwin pigs, smashed office workers and a human turtle that really ought to stop at the Shell station.

Get Your Dancing Shoe On!

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 17:46:30 EDT

SUTURE brings you the Gas Station Smash, the Lawn Slide, the Driver Drench, the Paintball Twist and other smooth moves.

Stiff Ninja Time!

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 17:02:39 EDT

Find your red key, jump your car, head onto the road, pull into the store, and have a blast. The SUTURE will watch the house for you.

The SUTURE: It's Captivating!

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 17:55:21 EDT

Grab your hoe, get stuck in Asian traffic, roll the car, bust some terrible dancing moves, be surprised to find yourself with a bear. Weekends with the SUTURE are more than meets the eye.

Nothing Up Our Sleeve

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 17:53:00 EDT

Get tazed! Put a tree between your legs, the hard way! Hit the beverage cart, literally! But remember the rule: don't get caught.

Might As Well Jump

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 17:29:29 EDT

Get your balls to the wall, sword-swallowing, cradle-robbing, monkey-spanking, face-planting SUTURE action here. But be careful when you open the can.

SUTURE: It's a Hit!

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:15:25 EDT

Bunny gets bumped off, truck takes it in the rear, girl dukes player, hiphop gets retarded. All because the Hulkster went soft.

Up All Night

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 18:07:18 EDT

Cheerleaders turn mud wrestlers, balls play with a kid, fishing is a blast, and you have the cat's tongue. Is it too late for a Christmas bonus?

Suture's Got Your Back

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 18:16:22 EDT

Pee Wee's on crack, an elephant is after some nuts, a parrot just shot a birdie and some p*ssy drank all the beer. It's back to the SUTURE.

After-School SUTURE

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:30:20 EDT

Expecting some hare mail? Need a doggie that does it person-style? Craving big burgers and big buns? The weight is over.

HOT BLONDE CAUGHT ON TAPE!

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 16:37:14 EDT

A French Kiss from a Scottish Terrier, a bowler with an extra ball, and a mailman swaps females. It's sex, lies and scotch tape on the SUTURE.

Suture, B*tch!

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 17:51:53 EDT

From the bulldozer to the dirt track, from the highway to the high seas, from the farm to the zoo. Where ever you are, you can always crash with the SUTURE.

T. G. I. SUTURE

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 14:28:29 EDT

Woken by a wedgie? Taste dirt on your dirt bike? Get called a chump? Have more sh*t than you can shovel? Realx ... have a cold one and a SUTURE.

The SUTURE Takes a Licking

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 17:10:10 EDT

Gassy yoga, topless street dancers, camgirls gone wild, ATMs that hand you your money. If you're speechless, it's because the SUTURE's got your tongue.

Real American Heroes

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 17:20:31 EDT

The Barfing Dog, the Toothless Bum, Package-Shaking Youth, the Crapping Elephant, G.I. Jah. The SUTURE stiches one for the Gipper.

This Is Why SUTURE's Hot

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 17:13:54 EDT

Cuz my snails are large / rattlesnake's in charge / i'm strapped in all the lifts / and skating over cars / this is why, this is why, this is why SUTURE's hot