PHOTO: Best Business Card Of All Time

This man, whoever he is, is a national hero. I mean, we know he's Daniel Green, but who is Daniel Green?

Hero
Champion
Benevolent Overlord of Your Vagina

These terms get thrown around, but what do they really mean? We may never know the real Daniel Green, but we do know he was handing these babies out to the ladies in Las Vegas on 12/21/12, aka apocalypse night:

@drewmagary A guy gave my sister this business card in Vegas on Dec. 21st. I want to be friends with him. twitter.com/John_Nail1/sta…

— John Nail (@John_Nail1) December 22, 2012

We know he is a man who knows how to spend an apocalypse. And we know he has no fear of what lies betwixt your nethers, ladies, for that is where he reigns supreme.

I salute you, Daniel Green, sir. Maye we all learn from your example.