Arnold Schwarzenegger â€” Mr. Universe turned Hollywood megastar turned governor turned scandalous philanderer â€” is releasing a tell-all book, Total Recall: My Unbelievable True Life Story, due out Oct. 1.
Daily News got its hands on a copy and divulged some key details about Arnold's love child and his messy breakup with Maria Shriver.
Here's what you should know.
1. Maria Waited Till He Wasn't the Governator
Shriver knew that Arnold was cheating and had fathered a child with the maid, but true to her Kennedy roots, the politically savvy spouse kept quiet until one day after the end of Arnold's term as governor of California, in 2011. It was only then, in couple's counseling, that she blew it wide open, according to the book:
The minute we sat down, the therapist turned to me and said, "Maria wanted to come here today and to ask about a child â€” whether you fathered a child with your housekeeper Mildred."
2. But She Had Confronted Him Before
Long before Maria dropped the bomb with the therapist, she had called out Arnold over the child's paternity. Arnold guesses that Maria had extracted the truth from the maid, but he denied it anyway and Maria let it drop.
3. Arnold told Maria She Still Turned Him On
Arnold had been a lying sack of s#%t for 15 years, hiding his love child from Maria as the maid continued to work in their home. But once confronted, he broke down and begged for mercy, telling her he still had the hots for her. Somehow flattering her sexuality was supposed to make up for impregnating the help and living a lie for a decade and a half. Quick thinking, there, Terminator. He also made some B.S. excuses for lying, including that he was afraid to tell the Kennedy clan.
4. He Banged the Maid in the Guesthouse
Arnold had sex with married housekeeper Mildred Patricia "Patty" Baena in 1996 in the guesthouse of his mansion in Pacific Palisades while Maria was on vacation with the kids. He was filming Batman & Robin at the time. She continued to work for the family during the pregnancy â€” while Shriver was also pregnant with Arnold and Maria's fourth kid â€” and then for years afterward.
5. Arnold Even Lied to Himself, But the Kid Looked Just Like Him
Baena had the baby and just pretended her husband was the father. Arnold tried to believe that was true until the kid, Joseph, got older and started looking like a little Terminator. He writes, "I realized there was little doubt that he was my son."
6. Maria Got a Dig in at a Funeral
At the funeral of her father, Sargent Shriver, in January 2011, Maria talked about Sargent's influence on her brothers and how he taught them to respect women. Arnold writes that it was a dig "partly directed at me."
7. The Scandal Cost Arnold a Job
Arnold was set to land a part in Cry Macho, but his personal troubles aligned too closely with the plot: a horse trainer befriending a Latino boy. Legendary producer Al Ruddy put the kibosh on Arnold's role.
8. He Still Wants Her Back
Arnold claims in the book that he's still holding out hope that he and Maria will get back together. And if you believe that, you deserve to pay full price for this book.
9. He's an Idiot
Ultimately, Arnold has determined the reason for his infidelity: Stupidity. Yep, he's just a dumbass who thought he'd get away with it. According to him.
10. The Book is Wicked Long
Total Recall: My Unbelievable True Life Story runs more than 600 pages, and it's only toward the end that Arnold gets into the juicy stuff about banging the maid and living a lie. So skip to the end if that's what you're looking for.