See what 10 things couldn't escape the final dragnet in the last American Suck Countdown ever. The good news: from now on, nothing will ever suck again!

Penguins cause a flap, Nicholas Cage is way too touchable, and Lohan keeps acting up. Plus, less is Moore, Brokeback vs. the Board of Education, and no Tube for Soldiers.

R. Kelly flirts with water sports, Costner returns to Water World, Lost gets watered down, and Bush meets his Waterloo.

Dancing with has-beens, near-beer, Baldwin-faced liars, sci-fi-tology, idol hands, and other things that make you want to Shrek.

Couric's bad news, Law and Order's continuing trials, Bush going solo, pets on prozac and other sucking, unleashed!

It's Hulk vs. Spidey in a no-holds-barred sequel suckfest. Plus, Nick Cage, the View, E! and fat people all go down with the Cruise Ship.

Adrian Grenier has a big one, Cruise needs his examined, McCain is losing his and Bush doesn't use his. ASC is talking "heads."

When there's no time for Showtime, Fergie takes her humps, Canada clubs Giuliani's dog, and Foxworthy's not worthy, you might be watching American Suck Countdown.

Mapquest telling you to get lost? Meg Ryan giving you lip? Salma Hayek's funbags stop being fun? Must be tax time.

Sucking from the right: Bush, Republicans and the Iraqi war. Sucking from Hillary's side: Duff's new album and Swank's new movie. And that's not all.

It's no secret: Leto's after Sharon Stone's ham, Senator beg Bush's pardon, and a Battlestar gets Lost while a trekkie looks for work.

But that's not the only thing becoming a hazardous waste this week. Also sucking: two-bit cons, two-bit neo-cons, Anna Nicole Manson and the upcoming troop surge in military hospitals.

Is your TV making a sucking sound? It must be because of Anna Nicole, presidential candidates, Britney's crome dome, Lost and confused, and, of course, the Oscars.

This week, it's a tool-shed full of high-calorie, head-shaving, world-polluting, shoe-sniffing, war-denying, stewardess-banging, self-deluding suck action! Pow! Biff!