Man Who Waterboarded Girlfriend with Root Beer Gets Life Sentence

Major Harris III, perhaps the first man to wield a soft drink to inflict cruel and unusual punishment (don’t get any ideas, Dick Cheney), will serve the rest of his life in prison for a bizarre incident of assault and kidnapping.

The 32-year-old Palm Coast, Florida, man was sentenced this week to life with no possibility of parole for assaulting his girlfriend in a jealous rage because she wouldn’t tell him where she had been, reports the Daytona Beach News-Journal:

Major Harris root beer waterboard

Major Harris III.

Root beer, huh? Very innovative …

He pinned her to the floor, smacked her and poured root beer on her face as he choked her, according to trial testimony. He cocked a gun and stuck it in her eye. All this happened as the woman’s children were in another part of the house.

She ran away but returned “to my house where I knew I had my kids. The horrific part of this was my children,” she testified. He held her captive as the horror continued into the next day — in church … huh? — she testified:

I prayed. God answered prayers. I shouted harder than I ever shouted in church that day knowing he was sitting next to me with a gun in the church. And I thank God and the justice system.

In court on Tuesday, her tormentor was gracious enough to “forgive” his victim, who was on-hand to witness his magnanimity:

“First off, addressing the alleged victim, we both know what took place that night. As far as my behalf, you know, I apologize for what took place. You know, I’ve been praying about the situation and, you know, I forgive her as well, too.”