What ... what happened?
Okay, so police in Sherwood, Arkansas, this week get complaints about a loose bull running wild through people's yards. They show up and find that a man has somehow wrangled the beast. He's slapping it on the head and leading it by the nose. Then it gets weird.
The report says the bull then mounted the man and "tried to mate with him," pinning him between the patrol unit and causing minor damage to the vehicle.
The bull took off and was later captured and returned to its owner, who must pay for the near-bestiality-related damage to the cop car.
Moral of the story: Do not f**k with a horny bull while cops are watching.