Yellow Submarine Dives Into The Uncanny Valley
I’m kind of torn on Robert Zemeckis’ “performance capture” techniques – if you’re not familiar, it’s the process of filming real actors, digitizing them, and then creating CGI anim…
movies
September 13, 2009CommentFull Release: Movies
In theaters this week, it’s Black vs White as Tyler Perry’s Madea gets lost in the Antarctic wasteland. Or maybe I got a little bit confused. Here’s my take on the new flicks hitti…
movies
September 11, 2009Worst of Netflix: Tomcat Angels
Every two weeks, I put a movie in my Netflix queue that’s rated at one star. This is no easy task, as even a piece of cinema failure like Gigli is rated at one and a half stars. Bu…
movies
September 10, 2009Full Release: Movies
New movies hit theaters today, as they do every Friday. It’s time to start hitting back.Extract – Mike Judge tries to recover from the disaster that was Idiocracy with a new flick …
movies
September 4, 2009Stop It, Hollywood: Diddling Around When The Cops Are Talking
Certain things have become so overused in movies and television that they’ve actually transcended being clichés to become parodies of clichés, which is just all sorts…
movies
September 2, 2009Lots Of Pictures Of Megan Fox
So Megan Fox is in this movie called Jennifer’s Body. She plays Jennifer, so basically the movie is called Megan Fox’s Body. I don’t know anything about the movie except for what I…
movies
August 30, 2009Law Abiding Citizen Trailer
Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) is an upstanding family man whose wife and daughter are brutally murdered during a home invasion. When the killers are caught, Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx),…
movies
August 27, 2009Three Frames Of Epileptic Joygasm
How awesome is Three Frames? Using the simplest of Internet technology, the animated GIF, they re-invent old movies into stuttering, epileptic joygasms. A daily must-see for sheezy…
movies
August 27, 2009Arnold’s Big Sword
Do you think visitors to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s office in Sacramento get a little freaked out when they see that he has the sword from Conan The Barbarian on prominent display? Th…
movies
August 27, 20096 G.I. Joes That Need To Be In The Sequel
What with the Summer of Hasbro coming to an end, it’s a no-brainer that G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (which has pulled in some $236 million as of press time) is getting a sequel. Th…
movies
August 26, 2009Worst Of Netflix: Splatter Rampage Wrestling
Every two weeks, I put a movie in my Netflix queue that’s rated at one star. This week: Splatter Rampage Wrestling, starring a bunch of teenage hillbillies and a lot of flaming ply…
movies
August 24, 2009Cimenashing Carrie
Holy crap, is Will Arnett in Cinemash’s version of Carrie like the best thing ever? Don’t answer that. It is.
movies
August 18, 2009Shake Dat Ass
I don’t know if there’s anything in this poor dumb world I like more than movie theater gimmicks. We’ve seen a recent upswing in 3-D lately, but now moviemakers are getting ready t…
movies
August 17, 2009Bigscreen Battlestar Gallatica
Can you squeeze blood from a Cylon? Universal Studios sure can – despite Battlestar Galactica coming to a close earlier this year, the studio is intent on trotting the franchise ou…
movies
August 14, 2009G.I. Joe Director: Critics Remind Me Of My Mother
Oh, Stephen Sommers, you monolithic hack. The Summer of Hasbro reached a crescendo with the enormous opening weekend for your action figure fantasia G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra, wh…
movies
August 13, 2009
Movies