Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), the super-man who sets a new standard for the term "diehard," is back for more real-time cartoon mayhem conjured by the writer-director team of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (or "Neveldine/Taylor," which is the cool way to refer to them). Hold on, you say -- didn't this idiot fall to his death at the end of the first Crank movie? Sure, and he also did about a hundred other things that defy the likes of physics, gravity and a general sense of "reality," so just go with it, will ya? What should've been a human pancake is scooped up by a giant shovel (literally) and taken to the hospital, where his heart is removed and replaced with what Dwight Yoakam later calls an "AbioCor artificial heart" -- soon, Statham is running around at full speed and fuller adrenaline once again, engaging in bizarre and often violent confrontations with various weirdos and riff-raff and finding an excuse to once again have feverish multi-position sex in public with Amy Smart. This is the kind of movie where a stripper's silicone-filled breast implant deflates into flabby nothingness after being shot with a bullet -- and really, that might be the most tasteful gag in the entire film.
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