That's not the only lousy part of the "horror," either. It's billed as a "gorefest," but from what I can tell, the filmmakers pretty much decided "gore" could be covered by shooting lingering reaction shots of actors they were throwing half a can of baked beans at from offstage. Then again, this movie might have the best special effects ever, but I'd never know because they neglected to include anything even remotely resembling lighting.
That's a common element to the movies I end up sitting through for this column, but Bungalow manages to take it to the next level by having a scene that's shot a) outside, b) at night, c) with no lights, and d) through a door. That's dedication to the craft of terrible film that I just don't see too often, but it doesn't do much to highlight the makeup jobs that I'm sure someone's cousin worked very hard to pull off.
Maybe they just assumed that the horror would flow naturally from the stripper/prostitutes.
I'm going to go ahead and guess that these roles were cast by the producers asking "Who do we know who will get naked on film?" and then just going with the first three names that came to mind.
These are, of course, the vampires, and they end up turning two of the guys into vampires, which starts in a round of Bros Vamping Bros. This is eventually sorted out, but since someone realized that they only had about 55 minutes of footage, they had to go back and keep adding endings until they hit the 75-minute mark, including a flashback to the characters' high school days where the main character doesn't even bother to shave his beard before pretending to be ten years younger.
Eventually it does come to an end, and I've got to admit that as wretched as it is, there is a high point, and strangely enough, it comes in the credits, sometime after Lloyd Kaufman is credited as "The Hot Babe":
Oh snap! That's right, George W. Bush: Bachelor Party at the Bungalow of the Damned just got straight political on your ass!
|Chris Sims is a freelance comedy writer from South Carolina. He briefly attended USC before he dropped out to spend more time with Grand Theft Auto, and his career subsequently took the path that you might expect from someone who makes that sort of decision. He blogs at http://www.the-isb.com and creates comics at http://www.actionagecomics.com.|