Full Release: Movies

Published:9:12 am EDT, December 18, 2009| Updated:10:11 am EDT, June 7, 2011|
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Nine

Hey, Avatar comes out this week! But you may notice that the hot chick above isn't blue, so it looks like other things came out as well. In the last release week before Christmas, we've got James Cameron's sci-fi epic and a bunch of chick flicks, basically. Find out what I think of their chances at surviving in this mean old world after the jump.

Avatar - There's been a ton of speculation about whether this movie is great or just good -check out the full-length review here to see what I thought - but whether you should see it is inarguable. James Cameron has made the most expensive motion picture of all time, costing basically half a billion dollars, and if Hollywood doesn't make their money back on this baby it's going to be Pauly Shore three times a year for you, young man. So help the poor men and women of California, won't you, and see Avatar six times on the biggest damn screen you can find.

Did You Hear About The Morgans? - Did you hear that Sarah Jessica Parker is like sixty million years old? Fish out of water comedy with one stinky fish, and I'm not talking about Hugh Grant. If you see this and a girl doesn't make you it's time to call Bobby Trendy to re-decorate your life, if you know what I'm saying.

Nine - Daniel Day-Lewis is like the greatest actor in the world, but I'm not going to see him in this movie at all because of all the devastatingly hot chicks shaking their can-cans around in this musical loosely based on the life of Fellini. Seriously, the trailer for this was so hot I almost had to change my pants. Penelope Cruz, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman if you've got a thing for Skeletor...

Crazy Heart - Jeff Bridges is getting mad props for his performance in this story of a beaten-down old country singer playing in roadhouse bands until he strikes up a romance with Maggie Gyllenhaal. I've always held that the Dude is one of America's national treasures, so it's awesome to see him in a role that he can really occupy. Plus he plays and sings all his own songs, which is impressive.

A Town Called Panic - This hilarious-looking French stop-motion animated flick looks to be something like Gumby on heavy drugs, which is a must-see for me. Three roommates accidentally buy 50,000,000 bricks, leading them on a ridiculous journey to the center of the Earth. Also: a love story!

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