It's time once again for the latest movies that you can own! Thanks to the magic of the Digital Versatile Disc (and his big brother, the Blu-Ray), no longer are you forced to steal ungainly reels of film from your local movie theater to enjoy the cinema in the privacy of your own home. Now you can just saunter down to your local retail establishment (or Netflix queue) and pick up these fine releases to own in perpetuity, without the danger of nitrate fires. Let's see what drops this week, shall we?
Star Trek - J.J. Abrams' reboot of the ailing franchise rewinds us to the very beginning, with a young Kirk earning his stripes aboard the Enterprise. A pretty great cast has some trouble handling a convoluted time travel plotline which has Spock being rocketed into the past to change the future through the present, or something. The sequel is already on the way.
Bruno - Sacha Baron Cohen returns with a follow-up to Borat that addresses the difficulty of being a gay German talk show host who just wants to be famous. While this doesn't have the epic gross-out moments that the previous flick has, it still trades on Cohen's mastery of inserting absolute insanity into the most banal situations, and certainly delivers on repeat viewings.
My Sister's Keeper - Okay I don't know if you saw this because it's kind of a chick flick but it's REALLY SCREWED UP. These parents have a kid that's really sick, right? So they have another kid to use for organ transplants to save the first kid. Yo! "Happy birthday, little girl! Two more years before we harvest you!" In the hands of a smarter director this could have been the best horror movie ever made, but instead it's a weepie with Cameron Diaz trying to act serious.
Humpday - The other "normal people make a porno" movie, this one is a lot funnier than Kevin Smith's last because it's two dudes. When a pair of old college buddies get roped into a dare to enter an amateur adult entertainment contest with each other, awkwardness runs high. Very, very funny indie that will probably do very well on DVD.
Thirst - The latest from Korean king Chan-Wook Park is a vampire story that dives face-first into the miasma of ultraviolence and style that made Oldboy so awesome. When a priest is transformed into a vampire, his moral compass goes wildly out of control and he's soon trapped between his humanity and his darker urges. Guess which one wins?