A SEX GUIDE BY “DEVASTATING” DAVEY DUDDY Ph.D, RESIDENT SEX THERAPIST AT THE STAPLES CENTER, LOS ANGELES. POSITION #1: THE ITALIAN HANGER A lot of you little Duddynaughts have been…

McDonald’s is the most tech-retarded job since drowning, so I’m giving my manager this list of new technology we need at the franchise. Some of it may sound risky at first, but so …

Very funny bloopers and outtakes from season 3 of Lost starring Elizabeth Mitchell, Naveen Andrews, Michael Emerson, Matthew Fox and Evangeline Lilly.

Every week, I tell you about five things that make me proud to be an American. Nobody murdered Glenn Beck this week, so here’s five other things.

A punchy headline is key to drawing interest and getting people to read your article. A punchy headline + AIDS =You actually cannot lose. In anything. First off I want to relieve y…

It’s a sad indictment of our modern world that more Americans get their news from Perez Hilton than from the New York Times. Gossip blogs are big business, and the abandonment of j…

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to welcome you to Heavy’s newest column, Ask the Experts. In each part of this series we will examine the fascinating world around us, taking …

These are all true, just so you know.Kim Jong-Il blew up his own high school to make sure nobody would graduate from there with a better academic record than he did. Kim Jong-Il or…

We were so in love with People of Wal-Mart we decided to make a little film about it. Enjoy!

So Glenn Beck just about ruined every last pair of underpants in his possession with this ACORN thing. If you’ve been living under a rock, a few “undercover reporters” have been vi…

Okay, China, it’s cool that you’re kicking our ass economically and everything, and big ups to your endless quest to manufacture cheap crap and destroy the environment, but serious…

How great is the ongoing humiliation of Kanye West? Nary a day after his VMA meltdown, the image macros are flying hot and heavy. Hell, there’s even a whole blog for them at kanyeg…

Good God, man. I knew there was something called “food porn” (you know, close up high def shots of gourds on the Food Channel – what were you thinking of?) but Skinny Girls, Big Sa…

BREAKING: JESSICA SIMPSON’S DOG EATEN BY COYOTE. SEE HER HORRIFIED TWEET ABOUT IT AFTER THE BREAK. She offered a reward. For her dog. That was taken by a coyote “right in front of …

Sure, scientists and Al Goreans are all panty-twisted about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, that swirling pile of ocean-borne trash roughly twice the size of Texas, but when I hea…