The Middleton fetus already has a greater social media presence than most people, and it hasn't even developed sex organs yet. Life's unfair like that sometimes. And why wouldn't it already have a Twitter account, this is Internet, duh! It's highly likely that before the end of the week the little bugger will already have landed a book deal and engaged in at least two tweet wars with Simon Cowell.
What am I going to look like? Well, judging by how I look now, a horrible monster. #royalbaby
— Royal Fetus (@RoyalFetus) December 4, 2012
I only learned what the internet is today and I already hate that there are commercials before YouTube videos. #royalbaby
— Royal Fetus (@RoyalFetus) December 4, 2012
Right now, emoticons are the closest thing I have to a face. :-) :-/ :-$
— Royal Fetus (@RoyalFetus) December 3, 2012
I may not have bones yet, but I'm already more important than everyone reading this. #royalbaby #sorry
— Royal Fetus (@RoyalFetus) December 3, 2012
I know you're all wondering: the royal uterus smells of gin and baby powder. Also carrots? Kind of. #royalbaby
— Royal Fetus (@RoyalFetus) December 3, 2012
Someday I'll be able to say I had 11,000 followers on Twitter before I had elbows. #royalbaby
— Royal Fetus (@RoyalFetus) December 5, 2012
Just watched The Godfather and decided I don't actually want one, thanks. #ILikeHorses #OrTheIdeaOfHorsesAnyway
— Royal Fetus (@RoyalFetus) December 6, 2012
