Celebrities

Fred Willard Caught Doing The Full PeeWee Herman

posted July 19, 2012 by

Fred Willard

Fred Willard was caught yankin his crank at a movie theater, or as it's known around these parts The Full PeeWee Herman.

Apparently he was caught in the Tiki Theater in Hollywood jackin' it to an adult movie. We thought the days of celebrities (or anyone) getting caught member in hand in theaters were over. I mean the internet exists! Have you been on there? There's a lot of porn. A lot. Like endless. As in there is no end. And you can get it right there in your own home!

No fuss, no muss. You don't even have to leave the house. Sure, you have to handle clean-up, but that's a small price to pay for privacy and ... you know ... legality.

I'm still not convinced that this isn't all some publicity stunt. His upcoming movie is called The Yank, after all. I don't care what anyone says, this is taking viral marketing too far, Hollywood.

In all seriousness, I'm glad we're reacting to this with the humor it deserves and not the moral indignation and outrage that came with PeeWee Herman's arrest. I guess part of that is the internet. Masturbation is an expected daily activity for most people. Sure, doing it in public is silly, but it's not like he was hurting anybody.

Plus, it's a porn theater! What do they expect to happen there? Plenty of crazy things happen in normal theaters. This is a place that only shows movies that were designed for you to jerk off to.

I know it feels weird to think of Fred Willard, America's funny grandpa, masturbating, but we love him, shouldn't he be allowed to love himself?