Oh, celebrities: they suck, yet we can't stop thinking about them. But who is truly the world's most worthless celebrity? Here at Heavy, we use science to answer these questions. Using a complex series of algorithms that monitor blog mentions, videos, and other Internet and media traffic, we have distilled the world's celebrities into an orderly list of 100 attention-seeking douchebags. Every day, we'll debut another entry on the list, counting down to the ultimate celebrity trainwreck.
The world of mixed martial arts has produced surprisingly few total disasters, or at least ones that have risen to the level that the Trainwreck 100 demands. But for every sundae, there's a cherry, and that's today's entry. After making his debut in the UFC as a promising young fighter with a strong personality and some skills in the cage, he quickly saw his career take a nosedive after he publicly blamed the UFC for a fighter's death and then started ducking matches. Things didn't get any better for him as his career progressed, despite his skills, and he recently started a second career as a hired penis for smut flicks. Who's the mixed martial trainwreck? After the jump!
You got it, it's Jon "War Machine" Koppenhaver. We don't expect our fighting friends to be careful with their words – after all, trash talk is just a part of the psychological game – but we do expect at least a little bit of human dignity, something Mr. Machine just can't seem to display. He was booted from the UFC after making insulting comments about Evan Tanner and refusing to fight Brandon Wolff. He bounced from promotion to promotion, burning bridges everywhere he went. Most recently, he decided to moonlight as an adult actor on the side, living the douchebag dream of earning with his fists and his dink. However, both got him into trouble at a smut star's birthday party, when a little misunderstood joking resulted in War Machine beating the living hell out of a dozen people and fleeing the scene. Idiot even Twittered about it later, before the cops brought him in. I think his time in jail will teach him about a different sex industry. Here's a video from when he legally changed his name to "War Machine."
