 My name is Andrew Wallace, and I have a gift. A strange and powerful gift. You see, I am the world's first Internet Impersonator – able to masterfully mimic the online conversational style of any human being on Earth. Don't believe me? Let's play a little game. I want you to shut your eyes and read the paragraph below, where I impersonate a famous celebrity chef, to yourself. |
| "Hey yall, welcome to the show. I'm a cook, not a cardiologist, so don't blame me for your trans ischemic attacks, yall! Who likes butter? I do! All us Southern girls are just wild for butter. That's why today we're gonna make a butter cake out of refried poundcakes and topped with a whipped buttercream that'll just unbuckle your boots, yall! Yall yall yall. Yall. First, blend up some butter and sugar real good in your mixer. Meanwhile, yall, fry up some bacon. Oh you bet we're puttin' bacon in this cake! Now add the bacon to the butter and sugar mix and grease up a pan nice and greasy with the grease! Spoon it all in and bake that sumbitch! Mmmm. *bites cake* *spasms orgasmically*" |
Do you know who it is? Click to find out!
That's right, it's Paula Deen! The Food Network personality that proves you don't have to worry about taste, or consistency, or nutritional value - as long as it's sweet and fat, America will eat it right up. Join me next week for another Internet Impersonation!
