Celebrities

Five Things Steven Seagal Must Do Now

posted August 6, 2009 by

Armwrestle Dick Cheney / partial robot / cyborg Dick Cheney.

Swim through an Olympic-size pool of Vicks Vapo-Rub to save a little girl (little girl can be blind for amped-up drama factor).

Punch a bullet so hard it flies back in the gun and explodes.

Kiss his identical twin (OK to use CGI here if identical twin is not available).

Do a backflip off of a porch, sunporch, stoop, balcony or veranda and kick a bear in the face.