Comedy

The 20 Awesomest Examples of July 4th WTF Patriotism

posted July 4, 2012 by Joel Stice

Patriotic mullet

This photo has so much win and fail at the same time. Not only is it a mullet, but it's the mullet's even dirtier cousin the rat tail. Throw in the red, white and blue tribute along with the NASCAR #, and it's amazing this man's head hasn't inspired a Toby Keith song.

1

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/wtf-patriotism-cover.jpg

There's no reason for you to be modest, America. You gave us the moon landing and the McRib, in the same century! We don't always understand you, and maybe question the mystery of your greatness at times, but even the occasional face palm has its place in the 50-state quilt of freedom.
2

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/olympic-fan.jpg

You can look forward to this guy in a few weeks, London. Just wait until you hear his Austin Powers impression!
3

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/fyeahamerica-lawnrascal.jpg

We pride ourselves on genuine American innovation.
4

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/patriotism.jpg

This photo has so much win and fail at the same time. Not only is it a mullet, but it's the mullet's even dirtier cousin the rat tail. Throw in the red, white and blue tribute along with the NASCAR #, and it's amazing this man's head hasn't inspired a Toby Keith song.
5

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/29597_4_600.jpg

Don't even think about putting any trash in this dumpster unless it was made by true-blue American companies (or American companies with with Chinese factories).
6

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/ronald_reagan_riding_a_velociraptor.jpg

Finally, a historically "accurate" depiction of Reagan's Cold War victory.
7

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/patriotism-beer.jpg

That's right, you know Americans be some tank lovin' beer drinkers!
8

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/coachella-people-weekend-2-435x580.jpg

This guy is possibly high, but it's the kind of high you can only get from living in a democracy.
9

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/patriotism-corvetts.jpg

Does it get more American than a Chevy Vette? I think not.
10

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/2ltr.jpg

Land of a 1,000 Internet memes.
11

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/patriotic_pet_usa_red_white_blue_dyed_dog_3.jpg

Descended directly from terriers owned by George Washington, 200 hundred years of America have turned its coat red, white and blue. You can't argue with nature and freedom.
12

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/amber-rose-main.jpg

Patriotic girls celebrate the fourth with <a href="http://www.heavy.com/action/girls/2012/07/the-20-hottest-girls-enjoying-popsicles/" target="_blank">popsicles</a>.
13

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/fyeahamerica-montage.jpg

You can never have too much America.
14

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/patriotism-overload-13372-1309804620-4.jpg

Scratch that. This is too much America.
15

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/kid_rock.jpg

As much as people like to hate on Kid Rock, for whatever reason. I'll give the guy this, he does show some serious USO support. Kudos for that, Mr. Rock. May you and your strippers be forever free.
16

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/usa-mcdonalds.jpg

Who doesn't love the Dollar Menu? Ba Da da da da, I'm lovin' it.... American GREED.
17

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/usa-soda.jpg

Just look at all that beautiful, American high fructose corn syrupy goodness.
18

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/couch-patriot.jpg

It's a Kia couch, right? Only kidding! ... Sorry... too far, I know.
19

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/awesome-funny-photos-19.jpg

If this photo had a soundbite, I imagine it'd be a constant loop of shotgun blasts and "hell yeeeeahs" while Lee Greenwood blasted in the background.
20

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/hacksaw.jpg

Hacksaw wishes you a happy birthday, America!
21

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/fyeahamerica-champs.jpg

Undefeated two time champs. FTW.
22

http://media.heavy.com/gallery/wtf-patriotism/20-awesomest-archives-3.jpg

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The 20 Awesomest Examples of July 4th WTF Patriotism

Tags: 20 Awesomest, America, Comedy, July 4, WTF