Spend a weekday morning watching The Price Is Right and Judge Judy and you're bound to see no less than a dozen commercials for attorneys promising to bring in big cash for your insurance claim or impending divorce. Some of these commercials are fake, most are real, but it's nearly impossible to tell the difference with the bad editing and sleazy dialogue. These are the worst attorney commercials the Internet has to offer...
Do you really want an attorney representing you in court with the name Ziggy? That's fine for rock musicians from Mars, but expect to hear some chuckling from the back of the court room when you stroll in with Ziggy from Brooklyn. On the plus side, he does promise you a "big cash reward", and Ziggy knows all about big cash with that fancy green screen he's got in the background.
Nothing says, "legit, upstanding attorney" like a catchy tune sung by a walrus-looking bouncer with hellfire in the background. (You'll notice that fire and explosions are a recurring theme with attorney commercials.)
It's always important to show some graphic car crash footage in the background of your commercial, but perhaps "The Hammer" could have thrown in some grieving relatives for added effect. If you're looking to get nailed, call The Hammer.
Stick to the lawyer game, Bruce. Please, for the love of all that is funny, stick to being a lawyer.