I don't know the name of this unfortunate young lady, but she's sporting the plastic surgery disaster known as the "uniboob," when two titties become one lump of utterly unarousing flesh. I hope that's not a sexy face she's making, because she looks like she should put a helmet on and go work at McDonalds.
It's kind of mean to pick on Tara Reid at this point, but one of her boobs is making a run for it. Look at the sag on that puppy! If I were that close to Tara Reid, I'd probably make a break for the center of the Earth as well. She's not clean.
Look at this. She looks like a prostitute that is also a turtle. Why would you make your tits so big that they swallowed your neck? I mean, unless you were scared of the Draculas, which is dumb because now the Draculas are sexy.
Hi, Tori Spelling? No, I don't want to get a book signed. I just want to ask what's happening with your tits. It looks like you're smashing them up against a pane of glass, but there's no glass there. Seriously, you've got some 4-D M.C. Escher angles going on in that blouse. What did you do? P.S. one of your eyes is bigger than the other, you might want to get that looked at. But not by the same doctor who did your tits.
And that's it. You're seventy years old and everything has wrinkled and died except for those two perfect sacks of silicone, still just as perky and round as ever, a constant reminder of a youth forever gone. Sure, the skin surrounding them has been stretched paper-thin and as dry as tinder, but you've got great tits. Too bad you can't remember your own name, Foxy Grandma.
