I wasn't there when Al Gore plugged in the Internet, but I can safely assume that two things happened within the first ten minutes: somebody searched for porn and somebody called somebody else a fart-hoarder using a fake name. The World Wide Web has become a best friend to the universe's a-holes, giving them a medium on which to cast (often times hilariously funny) abuse down onto the heads of their fellow man. In this article, I'm going to spotlight some of the Internet's funniest jerks, from the Mr. T-obsessed comedy of Seanbaby to the drunken debauchery of Tucker Max. Ready? Let's hop in the Wayback Machine.
Seanbaby - Sean Reiley is a man who can take the nickname "Baby" and have it work for him. The rainbow-haired comedy writer made his debut in the late 1990s with a website honoring Mr. T, Hostess Fruit Pie ads and other pop culture detritus, but it was things like Sean's public mocking of Nintendo Power letter writers and the infamous "Fat Chicks In Party Hats" that earned him a spot on our a-hole list. He still soldiers on, parlaying his a-holitude into MTV hosting gigs and a guest host spot on Attack Of The Show.
Maddox- In 1997, George Ouzonian launched his personal website and called it The Best Page In The Universe. Well, Heavy wasn't around then, so he might have been right. Ouzonian, writing under the pen name Maddox, used his razor-sharp satirical sense to unload on old people, George Bush, Mac users and all of the other annoyances that plague our society - all the while working a day job at a telemarketing company. That wee bit of hypocrisy aside, he parlayed the massive success of his blog into a book deal, a radio show and more.
Bloodninja - Who is the mysterious Bloodninja? It's impossible to really say. But in the early 2000s, a series of chatlogs began spreading across the Internet like wildfire. In some using the name Bloodninja, in others J-Dogg, the mysterious creator took people looking for a little cybersex on Instant Messenger for a hilarious thrill ride through magical worlds of weirdness. And, as soon as they arrived, they were gone, although there's an archive here. Bloodninja's work was so popular that it was excerpted in the pages of Harpers - a highbrow win for an anonymous Internet troll.
Tucker Max - Unlike many Internet a-holes, Tucker Max has lived life. You could say that he's lived a couple dozen lives. The Georgia-born writer launched his website on a bet in 2002 and populated its pages with raunchy, un-PC stories of drinking, screwing and fighting. Max's knack for depravity and willingness to say anything for a laugh won him a huge fanbase, and he turned his essays into a book and then a major motion picture, something no other Internet a-hole has managed to do. Some notorious Max moments include being taken to court by 1999's Miss Vermont over her portrayal on his website and getting his college tour picketed by feminist groups.
