These are all true, just so you know.
Kim Jong-Il blew up his own high school to make sure nobody would graduate from there with a better academic record than he did.
Kim Jong-Il ordered all short people in Korea except him to live on a barren, undeveloped island so they wouldn't midget up the gene pool.
The first time Kim Jong-Il played golf, he sunk 11 holes in one and finished 38 under par. Tiger Woods has never done that.
Kim Jong-Il buys over a thousand bottles of Hennessy cognac a year, at $650 a bottle.
Kim Jong-Il has a staff of women that inspect each and every grain of rice he eats to make sure they're exactly the same length.
