Sure, scientists and Al Goreans are all panty-twisted about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, that swirling pile of ocean-borne trash roughly twice the size of Texas, but when I heard about it, two words came to mind: FREE STUFF. Chartering a yacht with a helicopter tied to the top, I headed for the filthy sea and came back with:
Roughly six thousand condoms. Still figuring out which ones are used and which ones aren't.
A six-pack of Sparks, with the severed hand of a hipster douchebag still clutching one of the cans.
A virtually new Kindle with a missing "N" key.
One of those hotel beds with a vibrating mattress. My kid is sleeping on it right now.
Young MC.
