CHUPACABRA CAUGHT!

This world is full of mysterious, savage, legendary beasts - the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, Glenn Beck - but few have caught the public's attention more than the Chupacabra, that scourge of the Mexican border named after it's propensity to suck the blood out of goats like it weren't no thang. But the latest news from the cryptozoology front is that Chupe has been found - dead. A Texas man brought the corpse of the beast to a local taxidermy school to have it stuffed, and instructors and students boggled at its grossness. So what is the chupacabra, really? A mutated desert dog? The product of alien experiments? Heidi Montag's night-walking dark self? Who knows, but they're gonna stuff the bastard and hang it on the wall, because that's just what we do in Texas.