Science Fact: Fat People Are Dumber Than Skinny People

Science continues to make it easier and easier to make fun of people, as a new UCLA study adds insult to injury by finding that not only can't fatty fatty two-by-four fit through the kitchen door, he probably can't even spell it. Obese people have 8% less brain tissue than normal-weight people, putting them at a greater risk for Alzheimers and forgetting the number for Pizza Hut. All these guys have to do is a follow-up study on penis size and we can shut down the labs forever - science will have done its job.