Why?! Why is she still a celebrity? How have we as a society allowed this to happen? Oh well, at least things are getting more interesting and more naked.

The Internet is actually good for something! All this time I thought the endless cat pictures were annoying and pointless, turns out they were making me focus.

Microsoft’s first entry into the tablet wars is so far so good (albeit with some typical microsoftian missteps).

A look inside the great vampire squid that is Goldman Sachs. It’s a little disappointing, but still terrible and kind of silly and hilarious. Plus nudity.

When will our ongoing national nightmare known as the presidential election finally end? If this doesn’t end soon, I might purposely accidentally vote for Pat Buchanan.

The elephants are attacking! Everyone run for your lives!

Strangely and coincidentally blindness is also up among younger boys. I blame Kate Upton.

The king of Ghana had his royal jewels stolen in Norway. This is a real life thing. No, it’s not an indie heist film. I swear.

One brave Nationals fan dared to say what the rest of them were thinking. That man is a hero.

Hey, guess what? There’s violence in the Middle East again. I know it’s crazy. Totally unexpected.

Happy Saturday! Enjoying that tuna sandwich you’re eating? Hmmm? Bet it tastes good. Hey about that soylent tuna sandwich … it might be people.

Legendary TV star Gary Collins passed away at age 74.

A young girl is crowdfunding her heart-tugging and universally useful invention: cups that don’t spill.

K-Rod is in trouble with the law. He’s a dirtbag and apparently as bad at his personal life as he is at baseball.

I could stare at this for hours and I’m completely sober … well, sober-ish. Anyway, this is what every Saturday needs.