OMG! Brazil’s ‘Miss Bum-Bum’ Contest is Greatest Booty Pageant EVER!

Published:5:10 pm EDT, September 30, 2012| Updated:10:22 am EDT, October 6, 2012|
By

Whenever I list the things that I love — for affirmation of my existence, of course — the first two things that come to mind are the left cheek and right cheek of the female buttocks. I’m not sure why, but when I see a plump female rumpus, my heart begins to flutter like I injected a shot of espresso mixed with methamphetamines.

So, when I discovered today that the Mecca of plump butts, Brazil, has enacted a nationwide search for the roundest and juiciest of their nation’s derrières, I damn near fell out of my masturbation station.

In Latin America, a large female butt is a thing to be worshiped — that’s why I love them, I guess; I’m Hispanic, it’s in my blood — and this Brazilian contest is like the Ms. Universe for backside-meat.

Currently, 27 contestants, representing Brazil’s Federative Units, are competing in an online voting system. Fifteen will make it to the final round in Sao Paolo in November for the definitive “best bum-bum” judgment.

I have a few questions, though. First, why have I never heard of this contest before? I have felt an emptiness in my life that has now been fulfilled merely by the knowledge that this thing exists. And second, whom do I have to kill to be a judge?

Nonetheless, here’s some photos of several contestants, but do yourself a favor and visit the site and place your votes for the juiciest set of backside-clappers you can find. Or just peruse the site and marvel at the kind of tail you’ll never get within arm’s reach of. And then, just cry to yourself.

Related Items , , ,

Respond to this

More Action you need to know